This Week's Questions
Summary + Transcript
- Start of the call. 0:22
- Welcome to the August 15 strategy call, and a chance to celebrate some wins in the chat.
- A list of things that the team is proud of doing this week.
- The power of saying no and saying no. 3:12
- Brittany has had a few good calls and good feedback on her diy package. Janet said no to a couple of people and feels great about it.
- Today's guest coach is a guest coach, alicia st germain, who is an amazing coach and does mind work.
- There is knowledge of something and then there is knowing it in the bones and body. repetition and hearing things again is important.
- The research that shows that self-kindness is more motivated by self- kindness than by putting pressure on ourselves.
- How to let go of perfectionism. 8:53
- Three keys to boldly leading your business. Building self-worth, letting go of perfectionism, developing receptivity, and how to receive.
- Symptoms of perfectionist, procrastination, the fear of failure, the pressure to be perfect, and why perfectionism has a negative connotation.
- Perfectionism causes people to wear masks and hide. One of the ways that perfectionism can show up in programs like these is when someone is afraid of being seen for who they are.
- Taking off the mask and being okay with who you are so they can truly coach you.
- How do we get through perfectionism? 14:05
- Perfectionism is part of this process, and that is a lot of the places where perfectionism shows up.
- Procrastination is one of those big things that has to do with perfection.
- Asking why someone passed on a proposal and outreach is one of the two things that open us up to the truth.
- The thought of having others see you is uncomfortable.
- One of the things that happens for Shannon when she is in a coaching program is that she feels the feeling.
- Ask yourself what is the assumption you are making.
- Is it always true to be a hero? 20:05
- Shannon shares a story of when she was with Josh Hall and she asked a question on the forum and he said she should not be doing this job if she didn't have the answer to that.
- Shannon has a big assumption, highlight yourself as an expert or be seen as a pompous egotistical asshole.
- Everyone is having an experience of you when they are with you, regardless of what your intention is.
- The exponential entrepreneurs go over the biography of where these beliefs come from, and there are little instances that probably nobody remembers, but you made them mean something.
- The importance of knowing what is true. 25:20
- On Sunday, she realized her big assumption was that if she raised her hand in a classroom, her heart would pound and she would get blasted and publicly humiliated.
- The adult self knows looking back that she was right, and so was she, and that it causes a different perspective.
- One of the qualities of perfectionism is that we are trying to control what other people think of us. Perfectionism is an unattainable quality.
- The next part of the process is to challenge the assumption and look for evidence that what you believe is not always true or never true.
- How to find out why people say no. 31:07
- Strive for improvement, not finding out why someone said no to you, but how to make your packages better.
- Being in business and having children is like a trial by fire.
- The importance of acknowledging yourself as a human experience and releasing the human experience.
- Why taking on more responsibility can be like a hole in the head, and what it could be true that is making you feel that way, and how to work through it.
- How can I improve? 35:43
- Brene Brown is self-focused and focuses on how he can improve, rather than how people perceive him. He is working on a summit and wants to improve his video quality.
- People often hold themselves back from putting things out there because it doesn't look perfect enough.
- Anything that has to do with comparison is perfectionism, wanting to try to control what other people think of you.
- Alicia shares what is something she has been putting some perfectionism around.
- Why you say yes to everyone. 41:20
- One of her strengths is being organized. She feels overwhelmed when she has too many projects to get done and procrastinates because she says yes to too many things.
- She wants to be likable because she is a friendly person and she wants her clients to like her.
- Janet shares some of the first things that come to her mind when she is not liked, and how that makes it hard to say no.
- Janet says that being judged and being rejected is one of the things that stops her from saying yes.
- How to connect to the feeling of not being liked. 46:47
- The feeling of not being liked is a survival mechanism. It's a feeling of being taken care of, and if you do good, people will take care of you.
- When kate realizes she can't say no to people, it reconnects her to the feeling of safety.
- She left a message for a team member to check in and she was able to do it next Tuesday or Wednesday. She was going on vacation in October and has two big projects she has already committed to.
- She is trying to figure out how to send a timeline.
- Strategy vs. Scarcity conversation. 52:24
- Shannon suggests exploring what is scary about having free time and what is the thing that is going to happen if you are not liked or if you have free time or downtime.
- Shannon starts her day by asking herself what is she thinking about today.
- When someone is resistant to seeing that the problem is not the problem, it is harder to break through.
- Shannon is one of those people who doesn't know the answer right away, and sometimes needs a little nurturing to find the answer.
- Learning to sit with emotions and not make them mean anything. 58:28
- Erica and Kim are at the top of the hour, and Erica wants to make sure she doesn't make anyone cry.
- All emotions are good and welcome, and are welcome.
- The key to healthy striving is to remember the incidents that caused the assumption and challenge the assumptions.
- We are all human having a human experience and everyone makes mistakes, so even if someone posted a quote today that said, why hate that person they did this.
Chat
00:02:40 Brittney: I’ve had a few good calls lately. And some good feedback on my Guided DIY package.
00:02:44 Janet Hoover: Said no to a couple of people and feel ok/great about it lol
00:02:51 Brittney: Reacted to “Said no to a couple …” with 💛
00:03:54 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Welcome Angelica!
00:03:57 Angelica Hidalgo: Hello! Morning from Australia!
00:04:03 Janet Hoover: Welcome!!
00:04:11 Angelica Hidalgo: 5am
00:04:24 Janet Hoover: 💪 Go Angelica!
00:04:25 Ruby Javaid: Welcome Angelica!!
00:04:53 Angelica Hidalgo: Reacted to “Welcome Angelica!” with ❤️
00:04:55 Angelica Hidalgo: Reacted to “Welcome!!” with ❤️
00:04:59 Angelica Hidalgo: Reacted to “💪 Go Angelica!” with ❤️
00:05:02 Angelica Hidalgo: Reacted to “Welcome Angelica!!” with ❤️
00:05:33 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: It has been a long couple of weeks! I gotta reference my notes!
00:05:44 Janet Hoover: That’s what I’m doing too lol
00:06:28 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Between this call and my own therapy, I have really been working on self-kindness for sure! Speaking to myself the same way that I would speak to a best friend in the same situation whether it be work or personal!
00:06:38 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “Between this call an…” with ❤️
00:06:45 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “Between this call an…” with ❤️
00:06:46 Trish Bovell: Reacted to “Between this call an…” with ❤️
00:06:47 Shannon Mattern: Replying to “Between this call an…”
I love this. It’s such deep work.
00:06:54 Brittney: Reacted to “Between this call an…” with ❤️
00:06:55 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “I love this. It’s su…” with 👍
00:07:10 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “Between this call an…” with ❤️
00:07:19 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Also trying to keep that 90 second emotion timeline in my head to better help be mindful of the emotion but letting it go also
00:07:47 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “Also trying to keep …” with 🙌
00:08:27 Trish Bovell: Reacted to “Also trying to keep …” with 🙌
00:08:30 Trish Bovell: Reacted to “I love this. It’s su…” with 👍
00:10:33 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Haha guilty!
00:10:40 Janet Hoover: Let me just check my email lol
00:10:46 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “Let me just check my…” with 😂
00:10:50 Trish Bovell: Reacted to “Let me just check my…” with 😂
00:10:58 Angelica Hidalgo: 🙋🏽♀️
00:11:08 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “Let me just check my…” with 💯
00:11:58 Ruby Javaid: Realized this after last time, I definitely have a tendency to hide, but working on it!
00:12:13 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “Realized this after …” with ❤️
00:12:18 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Reacted to “Realized this after …” with ❤️
00:12:46 Lisa Doiron: I got caught up in a meeting and just jumped in. Did I miss anything important?
00:13:09 Shannon Mattern: Replying to “I got caught up in a…”
We just got started! Talking about perfectionism today. This is the first slide.
00:13:23 Lisa Doiron: Replying to “I got caught up in a…”
great! thanks Erica.
00:13:27 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “great! thanks Erica.” with ❤️
00:13:58 Janet Hoover: Why do we do that lol?
00:13:59 Trish Bovell: Why does Alecia see me! LOL
00:14:06 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “Why do we do that lo…” with ‼️
00:14:10 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “Why does Alecia see …” with ‼️
00:14:48 Lisa Doiron: 100%
00:14:49 Ruby Javaid: yup yup and yup lol
00:15:28 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “Why does Alecia see …” with 🙌
00:15:41 Lisa Doiron: marketing
00:15:52 Lisa Doiron: client outreach
00:15:53 Kim Stone: Market research
00:15:58 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Reacted to “client outreach” with 👆🏼
00:16:01 Brittney: out reach to potential clients
00:16:13 Brittney: follow up
00:17:01 Ruby Javaid: I'm pretty new still, but I'd been putting off making my packages because it seemed like such a huge task. then I kind of had to do it bc I had potential clients inquiring. Doing it was pretty freeing though
00:17:30 Angelica Hidalgo: Reacted to “I'm pretty new still…” with ❤️
00:17:41 Shannon Mattern: Replying to “I'm pretty new still…”
It is a huge task! But it is freeing to get started and get it behind you. Looking forward to seeing it!
00:17:41 Lisa Doiron: That was me in WDA for a long time for sure.
00:18:00 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “It is a huge task! B…” with ❤️
00:18:16 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Replying to “I'm pretty new still…”
Huuuuuge task for sure! Feels so good once you get even the first draft done!
00:18:20 Ruby Javaid: Replying to “I'm pretty new still…”
I submitted it last night 😊
00:18:24 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Reacted to “I submitted it last …” with 💕
00:18:25 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “I submitted it last …” with 🥳
00:18:27 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “Huuuuuge task for su…” with 💯
00:19:18 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “That was me in WDA f…” with 👍
00:21:10 Diana Richards she/her: “Is it *always* true?” 🔥
00:21:18 Janet Hoover: Reacted to ““Is it *always* true…” with 👍
00:21:20 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to ““Is it *always* true…” with 🙌
00:21:22 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Reacted to ““Is it *always* true…” with 🙌
00:23:11 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to ““Is it *always* true…” with 🙌
00:23:45 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to ““Is it *always* true…” with 🙌🏻
00:29:43 Angelica Hidalgo: This is making me emotional! It’s bringing up things I’ve never thought about or suppressed
00:29:52 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “This is making me em…” with ❤️
00:29:55 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “This is making me em…” with ❤️
00:29:57 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Reacted to “This is making me em…” with 🤗
00:30:01 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Reacted to “This is making me em…” with ❤️
00:32:01 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “This is making me em…” with ❤️
00:32:30 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “This is making me em…” with 🤗
00:36:18 Janet Hoover: Good one
00:36:37 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: 100% I do that!!
00:36:44 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “100% I do that!!” with 👍
00:38:18 Angelica Hidalgo: Guilty!
00:38:48 Shannon Mattern: Those are very relevant examples. Procrastiplanning.
00:38:58 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “Those are very relev…” with 👍
00:38:59 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “Those are very relev…” with 💯
00:39:01 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “Those are very relev…” with 💯
00:39:03 Brittney: Reacted to “Those are very relev…” with 👍
00:39:32 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Reacted to “Those are very relev…” with 🤣
00:39:37 Shannon Mattern: DO ITTTTT
00:39:44 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “DO ITTTTT” with 🤣
00:39:50 Brittney: Reacted to “DO ITTTTT” with 💛
00:40:29 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: This is such an amazing group to do that
00:40:35 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “This is such an amaz…” with 👍
00:40:37 Brittney: Reacted to “This is such an amaz…” with 💛
00:40:38 Janet Hoover: Amen!
00:40:38 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “This is such an amaz…” with ❤️
00:40:40 Trish Bovell: Replying to “This is such an amaz…”
yes!!
00:40:44 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “This is such an amaz…” with ❤️
00:40:46 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “This is such an amaz…” with ❤️
00:41:55 Angelica Hidalgo: I’ve been really wanting to approach a client but because my packages and website isn’t “perfect” I don’t approach him or anyone at all
00:42:30 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “I’ve been really wan…” with 👍
00:43:07 Ruby Javaid: I've been procrastinating fixing my website for like 10 years. Partly because I feel so disorganized, which WDA is taking care of, and partly because I want it to just look perfect and that look keeps changing in my head
00:43:19 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Reacted to “This is such an amaz…” with ❤️
00:43:25 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “I’ve been really wan…” with ❤️
00:43:25 Angelica Hidalgo: Reacted to “I've been procrastin…” with ❤️
00:43:27 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “I've been procrastin…” with 👍
00:44:43 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Reacted to “I've been procrastin…” with 👍
00:44:50 Angelica Hidalgo: Girl you got me crying omg
00:44:56 Lisa Doiron: I *still* procrastinate doing client outreach and posting on social media. I get distracted by other things, feel disorganized, have too much on my plate and put it off, but I feel like it's probably because I am afraid of rejection or being judged.
00:45:00 Brittney: Reacted to “Girl you got me cryi…” with 💛
00:45:03 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Reacted to “Girl you got me cryi…” with 💛
00:45:07 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “Girl you got me cryi…” with 🤗
00:45:11 Janet Hoover: That they’ll tell “everyone” that I’m a jerk…
00:45:18 Shannon Mattern: Replying to “Girl you got me cryi…”
Hugs! I have cried with Alecia more times than I have not. She gets right to the heart.
00:45:23 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “Girl you got me cryi…” with 💛
00:45:24 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Reacted to “That they’ll tell “e…” with 👍🏻
00:45:31 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Nobody will like me and I’ll be all alone
00:45:33 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “I *still* procrastin…” with 👍
00:45:39 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “Nobody will like me …” with 👍
00:45:52 Angelica Hidalgo: Reacted to “Hugs! I have cried w…” with ❤️
00:45:53 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: I’ll hurt someone’s feelings.
00:46:14 Janet Hoover: yep
00:46:18 Trish Bovell: Reacted to “Hugs! I have cried w…” with ❤️
00:46:21 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “Nobody will like me …” with 👍
00:46:32 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Then they won’t wait…
00:46:35 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: (Fear)
00:46:41 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “Then they won’t wait…” with 👍
00:46:48 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Or “I waited for THIS?!” hahaha
00:46:51 Ruby Javaid: Replying to “Then they won’t wait…”
yup I feel that too
00:47:05 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “Or “I waited for THI…” with 👍🏻
00:47:06 Angelica Hidalgo: Growing up I found it hard to fit in, I didn’t speak English and my home life was so vastly different to everyone else, not being liked is associated to not fitting in, being ostracised
00:47:14 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “Or “I waited for THI…” with 👍🏻
00:47:16 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “Growing up I found i…” with 👍
00:47:19 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Reacted to “Growing up I found i…” with 👍
00:47:22 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “Growing up I found i…” with 👍
00:47:27 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “Growing up I found i…” with 👍🏻
00:47:28 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “Growing up I found i…” with 👍
00:47:59 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “Or “I waited for THI…” with 👍🏻
00:50:22 Ruby Javaid: yess go Kim! saying no is hard
00:50:28 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “yess go Kim! saying …” with 👍
00:50:31 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “yess go Kim! saying …” with 👍
00:51:23 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: If I don’t take THIS project, then I won’t get future work from them, and they won’t refer me, and this could really help my business
00:51:32 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “If I don’t take THIS…” with 👍
00:51:33 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “If I don’t take THIS…” with 👍
00:51:35 Brittney: Reacted to “If I don’t take THIS…” with 👍
00:51:37 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “If I don’t take THIS…” with 👍
00:51:38 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “If I don’t take THIS…” with 👍🏻
00:52:22 Janet Hoover: Can totally relate to that
00:52:25 Angelica Hidalgo: Reacted to “If I don’t take THIS…” with 👍
00:55:37 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: I just started journaling. I find it so hard but it’s absolutely helped with breakthroughs.
00:55:45 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “I just started journ…” with 👍
00:55:46 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Reacted to “I just started journ…” with 👏🏻
00:55:47 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “I just started journ…” with ❤️
00:55:49 Janet Hoover: Reacted to “I just started journ…” with 👏🏻
00:55:54 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “I just started journ…” with 🙌🏻
00:56:00 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “I just started journ…” with 👏🏻
00:57:26 Angelica Hidalgo: Reacted to “I just started journ…” with 👍
00:58:09 Lisa Doiron: For me it's the shower! LOL
00:58:21 Shannon Mattern: Replying to “For me it's the show…”
same!
00:58:21 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “For me it's the show…” with 💯
00:59:10 Angelica Hidalgo: It’s a good cry hahaha it’s a release!!
00:59:15 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Reacted to “It’s a good cry haha…” with 👍🏻
00:59:17 Brittney: Reacted to “It’s a good cry haha…” with 👍🏻
00:59:18 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: I cry aaaaallll the time. 🙂
00:59:24 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Reacted to “I cry aaaaallll the …” with ❤️
00:59:24 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Happy, sad, a pig on tv.
00:59:24 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “I cry aaaaallll the …” with 👍
00:59:40 Brittney: Reacted to “Happy, sad, a pig on…” with 💛
00:59:43 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Reacted to “Happy, sad, a pig on…” with 🤣
00:59:52 Shannon Mattern: Reacted to “I cry aaaaallll the …” with ❤️
00:59:54 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “It’s a good cry haha…” with ❤️
00:59:59 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “I cry aaaaallll the …” with 💛
01:00:00 Lisa Doiron: Reacted to “Happy, sad, a pig on…” with ❤️
01:00:02 Shannon Mattern: Replying to “Happy, sad, a pig on…”
This haha same
01:00:05 Ruby Javaid: Reacted to “Happy, sad, a pig on…” with 😂
01:00:13 Lisa Doiron: Replying to “Happy, sad, a pig on…”
Me too. 🙂
01:00:23 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Reacted to “Me too. :)” with 💕
01:00:26 Kaila – HeyKaila Media: Reacted to “This haha same” with 😅
01:00:30 Lisa Doiron: Quick question: Do you always have to remember the “incident(s)” that caused the assumption?
01:02:29 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: I posted a LinkedIn Post and a client and long-time friend of mine was VERY upset. Her reaction triggered ME. For another day…
01:02:30 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Oy
01:02:44 Lisa Doiron: Thank you again Alecia!
01:02:48 Kate Newnham | UpDesignsLA.com: Thanks Alecia!!!
01:02:53 Angelica Hidalgo: Thank you!